Big Brother I Was Watching You

Just my thoughts...Rula Lenskathe Pete and Michael show hit the road, late at
This was all so, so unfair for poor Rula. Many willnight or early in the morning over coffee and
now probably remember her career for twocigarettes when the rest of the house was
things; Rock Follies and this TV Folly. Rock Folliesasleep. Funny funny funny.Who was it pleaded
was arguably the start of her career in the publicwith George to go and speak with Rula because
eye and this TV Folly looks like being the end ofshe was feeling so bad as a woman? Pete.Who
it. Pray for a cat-food commercial, Rula! Inwas it spoke up so volubly for Barrymore after
fairness, though what a nightmare she must havebeing evicted, saying how much he needed to be
found herself in - a 57-year-old, clearly past herrehabbed back into this country? Pete. Not quite
physical best, finding herself in the company of asuch the monster then, eh?Traci Bingham
Mata Hari (Faria), a Daisy Duke (Chantelle), Britain'sThe delightful, the truly gorgeous Traci Bingham.
Primo Slapper (Jodie) and, to cap it all, BaywatchEvery man should have a Bingham of his own.
Babe Traci! Most woman well past a certain agestarting with me. The rest of you can get your
would bridle at the thought of competing with anyown, though, I want that one. See how she went
of them, poor Rula had to take on the lot andstraight into a series of classic brilliantly executed
she lost, in spades. I thought George Gallowaygirlie poses for the photographers as she left the
was right in his comments after she did thathouse? An absolute professional, a master of her
ludicrous striptease - she was, indeed, trying toocraft. And how beautiful in her red devil costume!
hard. Who wouldn't have their confidence rocked?Cheap to run too, (once you've bought the
The brave face she put on arguably wasn't themansion), give her alcohol and she wanders
best one either. Go to bed with a countess, wakearound making small, happy sounds all day
up with a count. I choose my words very(whether you want her too or not). Does the guy
carefully here! Gee, I'd rather go to bed with Peteshe's engaged to realise he's marrying one of the
- at least he looks the same in the mornings asClangers? "Oh my Gah-had, it's the
he does last thing at night!Chantelle HoughtonSoup-Drag-gen..."I don't think Traci understood the
A (not quite) singing version of Jade Goody.show, which goes a long way to explaining why
She is so very self-possessed, the producersshe was so devastated by being nominated.
must have been thrilled beyond belief by the wayObserve when she was talking to Davina at the
she stood up to Dennis Rodman. Enough is beingend, she said how hard she'd tried to be a good
written about her at the moment; I have nohousemate. I suspect she thought you had to win
further comment other than to observer sheby proving how pleasant you were to live with
seems areal-life version of Billie Piper's characterand dutifully went out of her way to be just that.
Rose in the current Dr. Who.Dennis RodmanI don't think she had to go far our of her way at
Everyone knew Pete Burns had a hard timeall, either, I think she really is that nice a person.
deciding what to wear for the day but whatthat's why she was so upset at being nominated,
about poor Dennis, eh? Let's (hypothetically) listenshe thought she was doing something wrong on a
in...."Uhm it's time to get up, what kind of look shallpersonal level to the other housemates. Hence
I wear today? Little Lord Fauntleroy? Nope, didher shock and surprise. You get the feeling that
that the other day. Geisha? No, Pete'll do that anyto a certain extent, once you reach a certain level
minute" (and he did). "I got it - lemme see now,of stardom your life is run to a large extent by
just give the ol' tattoos a burnish....get them pointyyour agent; Traci and Dennis both gave the
studs all in...adjust the baseball cap just so...andimpression that they simply went where they
there it is - third circle of Hell! Yay, me, not that Iwere signed to go and did their best when they
give a shit..."Did anyone note that while Pete Burnswere there.George Galloway
got awful raggeddy when he ran short of boozeWhat a clear-cut warning to us all of how
and cigarettes, both Dennis Rodman and thepoliticians plan to use us. We seem to be no more
adorable Traci Bingham got grouchy when thethan stepping stones to their own self-serving
food got low? They being the two pro athletes itends. How did he serve his constituency in the BB
wasn't at all surprising. I noticed Dennis complaininghouse? His blustering complaints about censorship
that training without proper food wasn't too muchleft me unimpressed.I noticed too that when
fun. Probably the first time he's ever had to dothere was the first a major disagreement in the
it.And did you see how he balanced on thehouse - I believe over a misunderstanding about
exercise ball with one foot while he did push ups?racism - George it was who suggested that a
Have you ever tried that? Do you know howround table discussion be held which George,
HARD that is? And he made it look so simple! Noseemingly thoughtfully, offered to chair.Thus, it
wonder this guy is major league.Jodie Marshbegins. How long before, in order that George
Poor, poor Jodie. How sad and muddled shemay the better to fulfil his post as arbiter of the
appears to be. I gather, though, that there's ahouse decisions, not be made to suffer the
very upbeat enthusiastic and likeable girl in theredistractions of, say, hunger; shouldn't he be given
somewhere. She seems to be gathering acolytesa bigger share of the food than the others, so
rather than making friendships, confusing fans withthat his thinking may be clearer and not distracted
friends. I noted when Pete Burns and Michaelby hunger? It's in the best interests of the group
Barrymore were trying to get through to her lateas a whole, after all; he's the decision maker.In the
one night, Michael suggested to her that she trysame vein, we might conjecture, how long before
and envisage a certain scenario just for the sakeGeorge's sexual needs/desires must similarly be
of argument. Oh no I couldn't agree to that, saysgiven priority over the others, the women of the
our Jodie, that would be immoral and I don't telltribe, sorry, house, should be encouraged to offer
lies. Something similar seemed to be happeningthemselves freely and regularly to George over
when she was talking to Davina McCall after herand above the others. All in the best interests of
eviction, Davina gently suggesting that the otherthe group, of course. Politicians, eh? They never
housemates had been trying to act in Jodie's bestclose.Maggot
interests and Jodie went immediately off on aMaggot, the common man - the voice of reason,
complete tangent in her reply.I think myself thatas he said. A straightforward decent guy. Good to
there's a great big rock sitting in the head of Jodiesee he got over his initial reserve about
Marsh, never referred to, never to be admittedBarrymore. Why was he concerned about his
to. What lies under it? Something that Jodie findsimage, I wondered? How genuine can he be if
so terrifying that she visibly flees from consideringthat's a concern? Subsequently, though, he
the rock's very existence.One suspects thatproved himself a steadying influence on the rest
self-contemplation is not a regular pastime forof the household.Faria Alam
Miss Marsh. A shame, as rarely does oneThe Big Brother experience must have been
encounter a light bulb that really, really does needvery difficult for Faria. I thought she behaved
to change.throughout as I imagine she was brought up to
Poor, poor Jodie.(Sam) Prestonbe, dignified and reserved. I never thought she
Just like Dennis Rodman, I had no idea whowas a slapper, or in any way cheap, when her
Preston actually was. I gathered he was in a bandsex life got her in the news. Her business, I would
called the Ordinary Boys, and going from hishave thought. I was subsequently a bit
appearance in general, I'd have put themdisappointed to hear quite how promptly she was
somewhere between the Jam and and number ofhawking her BB story round Fleet Street but, I
ska bands, say, The Selector? Later in the showsuppose, a girl has to be practical and topical if
we were treated to some Ordinary Boys tunesshe's going to make money that way. For me,
and it looks as though I wasn't too far off thethe most interesting thing about Faria was her
money.apparent inability to express the emotions she
Apart from that, I knew nothing before about Lewas claiming to feel. I put this down to her
Preston and I know little else now, other thanupbringing to and there may be a lesson there for
that he seems to be a perfectly decent sort ofall of us. Imagine a girl bought up in strict
geezer with, I rather imagine, considerable womancircumstances in old established traditions, then
trouble on his plate.abruptly cast out of that culture into a new and
All quite ordinary, in fact.Michael Barrymoredifferent one. She'll know how to function
What a piece of work is this man! How infinite inemotionally in the old culture, her appropriate
frailty, his new personna suggests, and I have noupbringing will have prepared her for that, but in
reason to believe anything other than that thethis new (by which I mean, 'Western') culture, one
face we saw was the real one. He seemed awhere the world has moved on from the time
perfectly decent being, flawed, ragged round thethat birthed the culture she was raised in, she
edges, and while he and Pete Burns together bothstruggles to express emotions that she has no
displayed an ability to provoke gales of genuinename for. We're probably all a bit that way at
laughter (from me) it's Barrymore who has thetimes as the world turns faster. Our childhood
touch of genius about him, the air of one drivenupbringing can less and less prepare us for
to perform yet denied his stage. I hope the UKadulthood as effectively the two happen in
does what Pete said it should and opens its armsdifferent worlds. Poor Faria. I liked her.Big Brother
to welcome Barrymore back. He's a tonic for thegrew up and found its feet here, this was
nation. We probably need him more than heground-breaking TV. It still seems the fashion in
needs us.Pete Burnsnewspapers that somehow, inexplicably, appear to
Twisted embittered genius. Youngsters willconsider themselves and their readers above Big
probably be too young to realise this but in theBrother viewers. It's only for the oiks is the
genre of movies known as noir, in small, run-downsubtext of the copy in pretty much all the
and seedy clubs in the boonies of Anytown, USA,nationals.Synchronise watches, tv kids; only a
the kind a Private Dick would inevitably find theirmatter of time before they change their tune and
way to when they were looking for clues oraccept that here are observations made on life in
following leads they'd find the Heroine of thethe raw, that the spat between Dennis and
movie. She'd be seated, alone at the bar, she'dChantelle, the spats between everybody and
have a cool drink that she hadn't paid for in a tallGeorge, everybody and the confused unfortunate
glass in front of her and she'd always be smoking.Jodie Marsh, weren't far more riveting viewing
Whatever happened, even if it happened right inthan anything scriptwriters could have dreamed
front of her, her face would be frozen into aup. It's been an age in coming, but Big Brother
mask of disdained amusement. In other words,seems to be coming of age."Big" Bill Kruse
she'd look like Pete. Assuming that's what he hadprobably watches far too much tv. Also, he
in mind when he had his plastic done, he's got itoperates Music & Movie Posters, Crystal & Glass
dead right.and SEO sites.
For me the best times in the house were when