It's Not a Purse, It's a Louis Vuitton Handbag for Men

Last Christmas, my rich sister-in-law, Cherine,After the first week of classes, the comments
decided I needed to have some more style in mybecame less frequent. One girl asked me where
life, so she bought me a Louis Vuitton handbag.she could get a Louis Vuitton handbag l ike mine.
“You got me a purse,” I screamed.“I don’t know, it was a gift,”
“I’m a man, you know.”I said. …
“It’s not a purse,” she“And by the way, this is a men’s
corrected. “It’s a Louis VuittonLouis Vuitton handbag. It would look kind of silly if
handbag for men. They’re really gettinga girl were carrying it,” I trailed off as I
popular, and once you see how convenient it is,walked away.
you’ll never go back to a wallet.”After two weeks, I was barely conscious of my
“OK, I’ll try your ‘LouisLouis Vuitton handbag. I will admit it was nice to
Vuitton handbag’ for a little while,” Ialways have chapstick on hand.
said, over-emphasizing her name for what I knewAfter three weeks I started spiking my hair up
was a purse. “But I’m not wearingwith gel. I don’t know what the connection
the turtle neck.”was between that and my Louis Vuitton handbag
All I could think of was Seinfeld and his European, but I know I never would have done it before. I
carry-all. I hoped my Louis Vuitton handbag wouldeven started thinking maybe I could pull off a
get stolen too. My designer handbag was a squareturtleneck. Then everything changed.
of smooth black leather with a silver buckle. II was getting more comfortable everyday with
tried to convince myself it was more like amy Louis Vuitton handbag when I left it on the
leather pouch that a mountain man would carrypublic bus coming home from campus one day. I
than a purse. That made me feel a little better,called the bus depot as soon as I realized what
but I still had to convince everyone else.had happened. The woman there asked me to
The first day of classes the next semester Idescribe the item I had lost.
almost gave up on my Louis Vuitton handbag.“It’s a black leather … bag
Class mates who knew me well came right out…,” I said.
and asked.“Like a backpack?” She asked.
“Are you carrying a purse?” they“No, it’s smaller – it’s a
smirked.Louis Vuitton handbag for men.”
“It’s a Louis Vuitton handbag for“Oh, like a brief case?”
men,” I answered. “They’re“No, more like a … purse,” I
really popular back East.”couldn’t escape it. I had lost my purse and
“You’re a brave man,” wasI had always known that was what it was.
usually the response. “You should get aFor better or worse my Louis Vuitton handbag
turtleneck.”was never recovered. Someone must have
People I had just met were more discrete.grabbed it before it could be located. I hope she is
“Is that a camera case?” they wouldvery happy with it.
say, hoping I would give a more revealingI decided I was probably better off without the
response. “Are you taking a photographyLouis Vuitton handbag anyway. I wasn’t
class?”cut out to be a sophisticated, urban
“It’s a Louis Vuitton handbag forman-about-town with a designer handbag. It was
men,” I explained. “It’snice to feel my keys and cell phone in the right
incredibly convenient.”pocket of my jeans and my wallet in the left.
“Oh, like Seinfeld,” they said.That’s all I needed. It wasn’t
“That’s awesome.” And theavant-garde; it was just tried and true. And
conversation would end there.that’s the kind of guy I am.
The only thing that kept me from donating myFortunately, Cherine understood I just
Louis Vuitton handbag to the Salvation Army wascouldn’t keep up the Louis Vuitton handbag
that I didn’t want to make Cherine mad atlifestyle. She got me a Fendi wallet instead. It was
me. She’s a wonderful person but notmasculine and small enough to put in my jeans
someone you want as an enemy.pocket. I can live with a Fendi wallet.