School Shopping: Less is Better for Your Wallet and Your Kids

Attention parents: It's back-to-school shoppingcan come up with. When kids are involved in all
time. This year, do your kids a favor by NOTstages of a decision-making process, they are
buying them everything they claim they need. Ofmore cooperative.3. For younger children who
course, you will probably purchase some clothes,demand a cartoon logo on every article of
shoes, and school supplies.But when it comes toclothing, tell them how many such items you will
expensive name brands, sports logos,allow, and let them pick the specific items. For
celebrity-licensed items and electronic equipment,example, if you allow two, they might pick a
it's better to set limits -- not only for the sake ofsweatshirt and a backpack, or a jacket and a
your wallet, but also because it is psychologicallynotebook. You can also set a dollar limit on items
healthier for your children. Here's why:- Kids whowith licensed characters. Allowing some degree of
get everything they want develop expectationschoice helps younger children feel a sense of
that this will always be the case. This leaves themmastery and control.4. When you go on the
ill prepared to deal with the world later, as adults.-shopping trip, don't rush through it. Allow time for
Kids who get everything they want develop alunch or videogame breaks. In this way, the
sense of entitlement, with the assumption thatshopping trip becomes a shared family
things should come easily and on demand. Notexperience, not just a mad rush to acquire
only is this unrealistic, but such a sense ofthings.5. Set limits not just on the dollar amount
entitlement fosters a very self-centered view ofyou'll be spending, but also on what is acceptable.
life, which can lead to relationship problems asYour teenager may insist on certain clothing styles
adults.- Kids who don't have to work for thingsthat you don't approve of. If she starts arguing
are deprived of the opportunity to developwith you at the store, calmly tell her it's time to
self-esteem. Self-esteem doesn't come from thego home. If she continues arguing in the car, don't
brand of sneakers they wear. Nor does it cometry to reason with her; she's too angry to listen
from merely being told that they're a goodto logic at that time. However, you can offer to
person. It comes from a sense of competence,take her shopping on another day when she has
which develops through sustained effort toward asettled down.6. If your child insists that he
goal (e.g., saving up for those special sneakers.)-absolutely needs something that is not in your
Research shows that kids who don't learn tobudget, make a deal with him to allow him to earn
postpone gratification may not develop themoney toward it by doing extra chores.
"emotional intelligence" that is important forHowever, don't buy the item until he has earned
long-term success in life. Emotional intelligencethe money. This is very important, because it
includes skills such as self-control, confidence,helps your child learn to plan and to work toward
empathy and communication.So, to help both youra goal. He will also appreciate more an item that
wallet and your kids, here are some tips forhe had to work for.7. If you're like many parents,
setting limits on back-to-school expenditures:1.you try to set limits or to say "No", but the kids
Decide in advance how much you plan to spend.whine and complain so much that you eventually
Divide your list into two categories: Necessitiesgive in. Try your best not to succumb. If you give
and Want-to-haves. Concentrate on the former.2.in, you are inadvertently teaching your children
If your children are of middle-school age or older,that if they whine long enough, they will eventually
involve them in the planning. Give them a budgetget their way.Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
and show them the sale flyers. See what they